Was Jesus the Original Vampire?

If you are super religious, you may not like this and should stop reading now.  But if you find humour in all aspects of life, including religion, please continue.

People have been calling Jesus a zombie for years now.  Because, he rose from the dead.

You know who else can rise from the dead? Vampires.

I believe that Jesus wasn’t a zombie, but a vampire, the original vampire and here is why:

  1. Vampires drink blood — Communion in the church involves, drinking the blood of Christ.  That’s a vampiric behaviour. Zombies, they just want brains.
  2. Vampires don’t like crosses — Jesus was hung on one.  Most people wouldn’t like something if it was bad and done to their relative like that.
  3. Vampires don’t like stakes — Jesus was stabbed by one (spear, stake, same thing.)  Again, something bad happening to a relative.
  4. Vampires like sarcophagus — Jesus took a three day nap in one.  Everyone likes napping.
  5. Zombies can’t really communicate — Jesus came back to life and was able to talk and communicate no problem, vampire like.

But wait!  You say, Jesus was walking around in the sunlight!  In a lot of the vampire mythos, the original vampire had no problem with sunlight (and you even had some day walkers after the original vampire.)  Guess, this makes him the original vampire or a day walker.

There you go.    I submit that Jesus was not a zombie, but in fact, a vampire.

 

 

 

2013 — A Year in Review — A Year in Planning — 2014

Wow. It’s been a year since I’ve posted here.  And the last post wasn’t all that happy.

But there was much happiness in 2013. The number one item that was good in 2013, I got married to a beautiful, smart and funny woman.  There is never a day with out our smile muscles hurting from the fun and laughter we bring each other.

There was also some bad, like a couple days after the wedding, when Granny ended up in the hospital very very sick, and the same day coming home to find out our house was robbed.

We had trips to Canada and New York, both of which were fantastic, and that trip to New York yielded a car full of beer.

I’ve also taken up brewing beer and mead.  Some people think I’ve jumped off the deep end with it, others think I’ve barely got a toe in the kiddie pool.  Me? I think I’m doing what I want how I want and am happy with it, so it’s all good!

All in all, 2013 was a great year.  Like any year, ups and downs.  But it was a still a great year.

This brings us to this year. 2014.  Resolutions? No.  Plans? Some.  Fun? HELL YES!

This will be the year of FUN! I plan on getting dirty, and finding my roots.  Trails, trails, trails.  Biking and running in the trails are coming back this year as I don’t have any races planned where I need to worry about my clumsy self.  So, that’s the plan.  Lots of fun in the dirt.

There are also some other big things in the works, and as those come up I will come back and talk about them once things are more concrete on them.

Until then.

Merry New Year to all!  Have a Safe and FUN 2014!

 

Remembrance and Teachings of my Father

 

This post is a little more real than I usually do. But life got very real for me on December 14th…

Thursday, December 13th, I had called my parents to chat with them. Dad was sick still, for a week he was like that. On this day though he couldn’t even talk, but we still talked.

Friday, December 14th, Mom called me. Dad had passed.

One of my mentors, confidants, partner in crime, partner in inventions (that other people come up with and make millions off of 5 years after we came up with!) and best friends is now gone.

He was sick, but only a cold or flu. He went to sleep in his favourite chair so he could sleep sitting up and breathe, only to not wake again at the age of 62.

Whilst he is now gone, he is still teaching me things. Very important things. Like make sure your affairs of estate are in order. He was very meticulous in his book keeping, and so dealing with the after effects of his passing, aren’t as bad as they could be at all. I can’t even imagine what others in this world do, for those who aren’t as organized as my father was.

Another thing I have learned is that laughter continues to trump sadness. When ever we think of him, we can’t help but smile or laugh. His humour was always there in a magical *poof* kind of way (inside joke.) This has definitely helped with the grieving.

Things I remember about him are his calm demeanor. I would be in trouble and he would very calmly talk about it. When in fact you would like him to scream or yell in anger. Not even a raised voice.

When it was time for me to wake up for school, and I wouldn’t (very sound sleeper) he would come in from shoveling snow and put his icy hands on me and jolt me out of bed.

The ten pound chocolate bar I gave him for Christmas one year and the big grin he got when he started to gnaw on the corner of it.

Sitting there watching him type in a program on our brand new TI994a, so that I could play a game. It was a long slow process as he was a two finger seek and hunt typist. Right until his last day, he still typed like that.

Out in the backyard making cat paths in the snow, so that our cats could walk around outside and not get stuck or buried in the deep snow.

Welding in the carport, that was carpeted, and the carpet catching fire. I have never known a person as smart as my dad, but he did have his “dumb” moments as well!

In that same carport, me going to him with my calculus homework, and asking for help. He reads a couple pages and completely remembers how to do this stuff he hadn’t really done in 20 years or so and proceeds to help me out.

Yes, he is now gone physically, but he will always be in my thoughts.

 

I love you Dad!

Race Report!

Just a quickie update for now (I will be updating soon on more things, honest!) about my race this morning…

The 2012 Houston, Turkey Trot

It was a lot of fun!

 

Enjoy!

— Steve

Still Here — Just Taking It Slow

I am still here.  Just taking things slow.  Back in June I pulled a hamstring.  And have been struggling since to train under my new coach.  But, on Tuesday we decided that it would be best if we separated for a couple of months so that I can focus solely on getting my hamstring back to 100% before trying to continue this quest for Ironman Canada.

Of course, as you may or many not know, there currently isn’t an Ironman Canada.  Penticton decided to make their 140.6 races next year a Challenge Race instead.  Meaning that the long distance triathlon will still happen, it just won’t be labeled an Ironman starting next year.  For many it’s a problem.  They want to be labeled as an Ironman.  While I don’t really care so much about that, as I want to do the course.  It’s my back yard, where I grew up.  Friends and family are all in the area and it’s an awesome area! A great course and I can’t wait to do it, no matter who is running it or what they call it!

I basically need to hurry up (safely and correctly) heal up so I can get my training on!  While I am healing though, I won’t be just lounging around.  I do plan on fixing the problems with stretching, weights and other light workouts to get all imbalances taken care of and flexibility to return and I will be stronger and faster than ever before my coach takes me on again, to make me even more faster!

This time off also gives me time to play around with my nutrition a bit and see what really works for me without having to worry about being sickly and not making a workout.  I am a believer in the Paleo Diet, but have recently stumbled on the Thrive Diet which is a vegetarian/vegan diet that seems quite interesting as well.  I am by no means a vegetarian as I like to eat the tasty tasty flesh of animals.  But, the ideas behind it and helping to eat cleaner with more vegetables is never a bad thing! So, I will be working towards some combination of the two and getting leaner and working on losing the extra body fat.

So, I may not have been too active here… But I am active and actively working at getting more active!

Until next time… Enjoy!